Hello, my name is Debbie Loring, and I’m a counsellor with over 25 years of experience. I’ve worked with clients from across the UK and even further afield, helping them navigate the challenges in their relationships. Now that I’m based in the beautiful Lake District, I’ve found many of my clients come from areas like Manchester, Liverpool, Yorkshire, the Midlands, and even Scotland. I do still find that people come to me from all over the UK via zoom and even further afield!
Today, I’d like to talk to you about couples counselling—why people come to see me as couples or as individuals within a relationship.
Why Do Couples Seek Counselling?
From my experience, a significant number of problems in relationships come from external pressures. Whether it’s finances, children, extended family, or friendships, these external factors can weigh heavily on a partnership. I truly believe that where there is love, there is always hope. Love can overcome so much, especially when communication is strengthened.
A staggering 70-80% of the challenges I see in relationships boil down to poor communication. What often happens is that partners simply aren’t expressing their thoughts, feelings, and needs effectively to one another. This is where I come in.
My Approach to Couples Counselling
When couples come to me, I usually start by seeing one partner first. It might be the wife or girlfriend, or it could be the husband or boyfriend. I take time to listen to their perspective and understand what’s happening from their side of the relationship. Then, I’ll meet with the other partner to hear their viewpoint.
Unless given explicit permission, I keep the conversations confidential. By listening to both individuals, I get a complete picture of what’s really going on in the relationship. Once I’ve spoken to both partners, we bring everyone together. My goal is to help the couple rebuild their communication and, ultimately, strengthen their relationship.
Rebuilding Communication
In many cases, the problems couples face are not due to a lack of love. The love is still there—it’s just buried under layers of miscommunication, stress, or external pressures. My objective is always to keep the marriage or relationship together where there’s love to build upon.
I give my clients tools and techniques that they can use to communicate better, resolve conflicts, and ultimately move forward in their relationship. I’m not the type of counsellor who believes you need to keep coming back endlessly to talk about the same issues. My approach is solution-focused—I want to get couples to where they need to be as quickly as possible.
Ready to Rebuild Your Relationship?
If any of what I’ve said resonates with you, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. I’m here to help couples strengthen their bond and overcome the challenges they’re facing.
You can reach me on +44 (0)7946 339050 or by email at debbie@yugenwisdom.com. I’d love to hear from you and help you move forward in your relationship.